You Can't Be Normal

So, I've come to conclusion. You can't be normal. That is, you can't be normal and expect to get on American Idol. I don't care if your voice is better than Beyonce's.......you are going to fail.

But before I give you all the dirty details about Miss Cupcake failing in the music business, I thought I would tell you a little about my trip to the city.

I don't know if you can see what that says...but that, my friends, is Chelsea Market! Yes, this is where Rachel Ray films her shows! I was trying to contrive a plan to invade the top floors of this establishment, but I failed (I've been having a habit of that lately ;) Also, there where signs all over for the VIPs of Iron Chef to go a certain way. I saw the elevator open and some people wearing badges go up. Oh how I wish I was a midget! Only then could have I slipped in without anyone noticing. But other than failing, there where some very interesing stores inside!

LIKE THIS PLACE! YAY! I'm not going to lie, I kind of hyper ventilated! It was super cute, and I finally realized that if I was in NYC and had a bakery, I could sooo make money off what I do. There where a gift set of 6 cookies for $47. Are you kidding me? Sign me up! (Oh and 2.75 a cupcake?) Yes.

Yes, Magnolia. Do you really think that I could go to the city a leave without them? No, no can do. These are heaven in the form of a butter-infested glob of sugar.

So, this is basically how it happened.

You wait for hours upon hours to get a seat. Not an audition, a seat. Not necessarily a sure thing that you would get an audition. Then you return at a horific hour in the morning to film 8,000 scenes of the same thing, and audition at tables for 15 seconds. Then you fail, it's inevitable...and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Here are the next set of failures. I was talking to those people from my seat. "Just leave now, you are going to fail." I was trying to be positive about the situation :)

Then there was my friend, Chiquita. However, although the disturbing dance moves were quite impressive, the banana did not make it. It was the only disturbing character who didn't move on. Those that did? Superwoman, Joker, a sad excuse for a dancer, and an 11 year old. I'm telling you, I'm going dressed like Betty Crocker next year. I will sing Patty Cake...and give them all cupcakes.

Luckily, I met this amazing girl also named Lawyrn. Her voice was outstanding, yet she also failed (it was a reoccuring theme) I was happy to spend 8 hours of waiting with her.

Yes, I have come to the conclusion that the only way to describe this show is stated above. We are all a bunch of idiots. It's true, but like I said, I would do it all again.

PS Ryan Seacrest stands on a stool to film E news. Not just any stool, a solid 15 inches high. BAHAHAHA. (I witnessed this from 5ft away....and let me say, I didn't mind ;)

Don't be Such a Drama Queen!

What a weekend! Really, I don't think that I have ever been more stressed than this! But you know what? It's all ok. So, I'll give you a little tour of what I've been up to ;)

Thursday. Bear Cake Due
Friday. Work on Les Mis Cake and Film for Cake Boss
Saturday: Les Mis Cake Due and Films Uploaded for Cake Boss
Sunday-Tuesday: American Idol Auditions

Yes, I am crazy.

Let's start with one of my most favoritest cakes ever. The Les Mis cake. The cake was for the Williamsport Area Community Theatre who happened to be presenting Les Miserables. Now, lets get one thing strait. I have never seen this musical, nor have I ever desired to see it, nor have I ever dreamed of making a Les Mis themed cake. It haunted me for weeks. But, I finally thought of something.

I decided I would go with the Playbill on the bottom, and stage-like setting on the top.

So, you didn't think that I would make this gigantic cake without tricking it out with some fancy-schmancy Miss Cupcake-themed attire. I think I did Miss Cupcake justice.

And I couldn't just lead you on to thinking that I didn't include cupcakes in the whole cake making process. That would just be heathen of me.

Then there was my diva bear cake for a cute little 7 year old who was going to Build-a-Bear for her birthday party.

Oh, and no.....I didn't put lips on it. (Due to my prior problems with the like)

Now, I will tell you about Cake Boss. I applied for this new show on TLC. It's like a Cake Boss competition show...but that's really all I know! But, I got a look, and I was asked to send in tapes to audition. Some of them are quite comical. Here are the links. You must watch the "Stump the Baker" game show. It's kind of the best thing ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljaZp7ZPvig

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsBD2S5w5UQ&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFFnMk-iB6M&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocOJ7LFiugA&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlGR3o9SZek&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4z80WlyQDU&feature=channel

(If you are short on time...or don't want to hear me blabbering about cake crap for minutes at a time.....ONLY WATCH THE 4TH LINK ABOVE! )

Then there was American Idol. A WHOLE BIG different story. These are actually just our wristbands. (Mine is the red one). This gives me a seat number and a right to audition. Auditions aren't for another two days. I can't even begin to imagine what I will see. I wonder if the sights will scar me for life? Probably....but I think it will be worth it.

But, I've definitely come to a conclusion. This show should be called American Idiot. (As overheard by a lady at the registration today.) I mean, just look at all of us in line....we really are.

Tid bit of philospophy also heard in line. "American Idol is like a horse race. All of your hopes and dreams are lost within an instant."

That was the most encouraging thing I have heard all day :)

Try Not to Get Mauled

Hmmm....now would be the time where I share a beautiful picture of a finished product of something that I have contrived out of nothing. However, here lies a finished product of a different nature. This, up here....is the end of a cake. This is the beautiful end to a Teddy Bear Cake. The head is still fairly recognizable. But, I will show you now...how this frightful sight came to be.

It all started with this absolutely adorable pan. It's Build-a-Bear brand. How wonderful? I had to have it. It helped that mom told me I had to have it too....and her checkbook told me I had to have it as well ;)

After some sifting..............

A pound cake bear was ready to go into the oven (here insert your FAVORITE pound cake recipe. Any will do, I promise.

Whip up some glue (Aka Frosting...to hold the bear together)

Whisk a little chocolate glaze together.

Now, you too can see why I needed to have this. The best part? The recipe is on the box. Go get that Build a Bear Teddy Bear pan! (aka get it online...search in google) It's so easy. Anyone can do it! Need to wow someone...a cake is so much better than flowers..chocolate...or even $1000.

But then, the dreadful moment came. My mother turned to me and said, "Lauren, those lips are really creepy." FINE MOM!!!! So these lips are actually different from the final product. But you know what...I don't even care. I'm embracing the creepy lipped bear.

So here is the gift-ee. My cousin Palmer. It was actually for her AND her sister. There birthdays are quite close and what a better way to celebrate then with a cake!

And then, the picture. The picture that describes the most wonderful part of one of my cakes..the destruction. She had quite the time of her life disecting the cake. She was very close to sawing off a few fingers at various points of Palmer with the knife. She also enjoyed taking off every single fondant decoration on the cake. It was great. I think she would have consumed the whole thing....if I wouldn't have taken the knife due to the fact that I wanted a piece. I WANTED A PIECE REAL BAD! I got it. I got two actually :)

Chip Fries

Potatoes! Mmm....I love potatoes. I love them in just about any form: stuffed, baked, fried, mashed, caked.....anything. They are just plain good. So, I see them in the cupboard....and I decided that I needed to make something out of them!

So, I thought that I should probably makes some chips. Unfortunately...it didn't really go as planned....it went better. Looking all around I realized that there was no canola or veggie oil to be had. After a mini temper tantrum, I realized that there WAS Extra Virgin olive oil....so...I went for it. What a fabu-lash idea! Then, I tried to slice and dice them reallly thin...but I couldn't do it. So...behold....the CHIP FRY! In case that name isn't self-explanatory, let me map it out for you: chip+fry=chip fry. Still not getting it? Ok, imagine that you are eating a french fry and a chip at the name time. Got it? Well I'm not explaining it anymore.....

So, I know you are probably all so excited about these slices of heaven that you need to make them right now. You can.....

Chip Fries

Items Needed:

• How ever the many amount of potatoes you have on hand
• How ever the much of canola/veggie/EVOO oil you have on hand
• (Are you grasping how ridiculously easy this is?)
• Common Sense
• A pan
• Knowledge of how to turn the heat on

1. Wash, peel, and slice potatoes in medium to thin slices.
2. Turn the stove heat on medium-low.
3. Heat up about 1/4-1/2 cup oil in a large sauce-pan.
4. Cook until lightly browned on either side. (Approximately 7 minutes)
5. Scoop out of the oil and place onto paper towells.
6. Enjoy RIGHT away...or they might taste like cold french fries.
   

Hmmm...Does Nicole like the chips? Is she thinking about liking the chips? Or, is she confused whether it is a chip or a fry? Some things we will never know.

Ok good. Lauren DEFINITELY likes them. Or she's lying to make me happy. Eh..doesn't really matter either way ;)

Oh by the way....you all better be voting for my Emmy Cupcake!! Keep voting until July 28th. ONCE A DAY!

How to vote you must ask? Well...check out my facebook! It is constently my status....Click on the link and vote!!

Or...if you don't want to visit me on my facebook page (The Miss Cupcake Group)

Here's the link:

http://wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/42530/voteable_entries/6158452?order=recency

HELP! I BEG OF YOU!

We all know Duncan Hines! Right? (Thank you Google Images) Well, good. I need you help. There is this amazingly awesome contest that is amazingly wonderful and I want to win! Duncan Hines has teamed up with the Emmy's and sent out a request for the most wonderful cupcake recipe. Now, this is definitely an opportunity that a girl like myself can not resist.

The winners are based on votes, though. So that is why I beg of your help! I beg, I'm actually on my hands and knees with my hands clasped together right now. Please vote for my cupcake. Scroll down and you can find out how. But first......the prizes :)

Thank you again Duncan Hines for the picture. Anyway, CAN YOU SEE WHAT THAT SAYS? My cupcakes could be served at the Emmy's!!!!!!!! WHAT!??? And....A TRIP TO THE EMMYS!!!!!!!!!!! Now will you vote for me!? I'll get you a picture of Justin Beiber! hahaha.


Ok, so now, let me get to the good stuff. I should probably actually show you a picture of my cupcake before you go crazy and vote for me ;)

Behold, my new masterpiece....the Chocolate Covered PB & Pretzel Cupcake. The perfect combination of sweet peanut butter and chocolate combined with the saltiness of pretzel. Oh my goodness gracious. I feel bad for my poor father whom had to suffer through at least 29 hours of pain while I made him hold off from taking one. I had to get my pictures taken!



Unfortuntately, my central air broke in my house. Perfect, it's like clock-work. Crappy things always happen to you when they shouldn't! So, in the midst of taking pictures and decorating these priceless gems, I had to keep sticking them back into the fridge because they melted.
Thank you house. Thank you for being consistent with your 85 degree temperature.

Luckily, I got some yummy-licious shots with what I had.

Now that you have seen the goods. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please vote for my cuppy-cake. I can only win if you vote! Go! Vote! Please! Every day!

http://wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/42530/voteable_entries/6158452?order=recency

and if that doesn't open you directly to my entry, then try to find it at this address:

http://wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/42530/voteable_entries

Ready. Set. GO!

1st Annual Roast and Toast

Ok. So I have come to the realization that wherever these two boys are at.....it's trouble. Trouble in so many ways. Just thought that I would get that out there before I decided to proceed.

We decided to have a Roast and Toast. Definition would be that we wanted to roast and toast unusual things. Edible, of course, but unusual. After a trip to the grocery store (and $65 later :/),

we mamaged to purchase a whole schlew of things that could be easily roasted with the fire's glowing warmth. Yet, somehow, we felt that mountain pies were a must. Behold, the finest mountain pies to ever grace your computer's screen.

First off, we are all well aware that it is imperative to butter the outside pieces of bread before placing them in the mountain pie maker. Well, we though spray butter would be ridiculously effective (and 0 calories a squirt). However, after an 1/8 of an inch of pure ash on out mountain pies, spray butter was out, and real butter was in. I'm just warning you for your future spray butter ventures...don't do it.

The second mountain pie, pizza edition. We have discovered something heavenly. Have you ever been to Carraba's? You know, that delicious Italian restaurant that has heavenly foccacia and dipping oil with spices. Well, I have found the spices. Thanks to Jeff Crossgrove for enlightening me about this subject. Go to Weis, purchase the McCormick Italian Seasoning Grinder. Place it on absolutely everything you eat. It will change your life.

Jared decided that instead of letting the second mountain pie to become ash again, that keeping an eye on it wouldn't be a bad idea. I, on the other hand, was so paranoid about it burning again....that I just opened it up every 24 seconds. But, it paid off......scroll down a little more

Oh, no, keep going. (This is Jared's mountain pie fail)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, mountain pie heaven. Do you see how perfectly golden those edges are. Sourdough bread kissed with light mayo, Italian Seasoning, fat free cheese, and brown sugar ham. I want to eat these in heaven one day....and be the envy of all mountain pie rookies.

And then, the fun started. Carmelized Swedish Fish anyone? Jared made me do it.

But the mother of all concoctions that we attempted was this. Swedish Fish Fire Jelly.

It sucks.

Festive For the Fourth

I love lemonade stands. When I think of them, I often thinking of my childhood aspirations to run a lemonade stand and somehow make hundreds of dollars. Two things. One, I never made a lemonade stand due to the un-accessible location of my home. and...two. The fact that I never had a lemonade stand also means that I didn't make hundreds of dollars.

So other than the lemonade stand being a fail for me, Nicole decided that she needed to partake in this legendary money maker. I was game. But, the really nifty thing about it was that she decided that she was going to donate the money the Cancer Society in honor of her mom. (Nicole is the sweetest thing ever)



But then, Nicole uttered the most beautiful words ever to come out of a child's mouth. "We need to make cupcakes." Have I mentioned that I love Nicole. See, Cupcakes and me are like root beer and vanilla ice cream...like Sunny and Cher....like Michael Jackson and awkward child rumors. So, I thought we would go all out for the cupcakes..I mean...it's July 4th!

So, we died the funfetti batter blue. You can do it too. If you have 38 drops of blue food coloring...you too can make these fun-colored cakes of wonder.

But first, you MUST start with cute cupcake wrappers. You see, this part is essential. Why? Well, if you place the cupcakes in beautiful liners, the flavor of beauty will transfer onto the cupcake...and well...it's just what you are supposed to do.

Look how cute they turned out. I baked them as normal...just blue.....and festive!

Then, the best part....decoration. Nicole wasn't fond of the term "pastry bag," (after her 5th or 6th cupcake) so I let her sprinkle-ize while I piped. We had a pretty good system going.

Look how beautiful they turned out! Now, I bet you are wondering what fabul-ash icing I used. Well, I stumbled upon this wonderful recipe called Dunkin Hines in a can. The flavor is undescribable ;)

Look at her. Isn't she the cutest thing ever. (And look at our fancy-schmancy lemonade)

Happy 4th of July!